{Ex Officio Pontificus Maximus Loquitur Ex Cathedra In Contradicta Non Sequitur. Persona Non Grata in Vaticana}
THE MAN WHO UTTERED THOSE FAMOUS HISTORIC WORDS: >>>>>>> "I ain't no Progressive. I'm a Liberal! Damn proud of it! The only progressives I know are slot machines in Lost Vegas. Ya either is what ya is; or, you ain't. Jus ask our Billy Clinton. He don't lie like sum of 'em." "Our Liberal Uncle Bubba" [or as Our Beloved Rabbi Moskovitz calls him "Uncle Baba"] "The Satirist"
"THE MAN WHO GAVE THE WORDS: >>>>>>> LIBERAL AND PONTIFICATION A GOOD REPUTATION AGAIN"
Uncle Bubba's Motto: "I plead I aint guilty of nothin."
WILL GERALD 'FATTY' FALWELL FORGIVE UNCLE BUBBA??? >>>>>>> Now, Gerald. When yar co-hostin' Crossfire OR ON SUM OTHER TV SHOW, wink your left eye three times. Then I'l know ya be forgivin' me. Bubbie. >>>>>>> Now, Gerald, ya been blinkin both eyes on Crossfire, ya gotta blink only the left eye three times. Ya know like winkin
Gerald. Now, wer ar ya when we needs ya." Your Friend Bubbie
DEAR GERALD,
This is Bubbie. Mama is standin behind me. I had one of my seein's. It was told unto me, ya gotta start preachin again em moneychangers at's got into the Temple of God's People. Ya gotta be preachin the fear of God in-um. Like ya do so good. Scare The Hell outta of em . So, they all stop theivin . And the corruptin stuff. Like member when ya stuck my hand in the fire warnin me God 'll be doin it - if i dont be good. Dat's what ya gotta do. Rabbi Moe says yar The Pope of da Protestanters.
Aint no buddy left to speak. At Robbers-son's guy tryin ta bring down er rath of God on everybuddy, but it aint workin. So, at leaves only jou.
Sides yur gettin Mama mad. She's got a fork in er hand. Threatenin ta tell everybuddy ya played with baby dolls when yar was a kid. Or, when she caught ya kissin Uncle Dick Fick's daughter Trixie. You know Mama. It's her way or its the FORK's Way.
Well, I told ya what I's was suppose ta.
YOUR FRIEND BUBBIE
P.S. Gerald please be forgivin me fur callin ya FATTY when we was Kids. I DID NT NO NO BETTER.
Yo! Everybody. We don't want nobody messin with this Philie Kid whose dun good. Yo! This man is a Holy Crosser basketball fan. Yo! Chris. Where are the moderate and liberal comentators on your program?Rabbi Moe: "Vhat meanink this "Yo!" vord?The Divine Telephone Booth. Yo! Chris. Where are the moderate and liberal comentators on your program? Rabbi Moe: "Vhat meanink this "Yo!" vord?
To Chris Mathews >>> From Uncle Bubba [and Rabbi Moe]
"You was askin how ta like contact The Lord fur us people who speak fur Him" Er are many ways. One is Vhite Lightenink. However I'm recommendin tha telephone ta Heaven way. Here's one spot I use. But dont bein tellin nobuddy. Caus the Lord dont like bein bothered by bad guys. Jesus said, 'Ask and ye will find...' Well there ya go then - The Divine Telephone Booth. Rabbi Moe wants ta say sumthin." "Hay, Christian kid I like jour hardballs programs. Makes me thinkink alots. OK beink gut and go-it to Temple, I mean-it, the Church every weak." Rabbi Moe P.S. "Ver ist dis Philie place any the ways? Vhat does 'Yo!' meanink?"
RABBI MOE SPIRITUALLY COUNSELS UNCLE BUBBA
ABOUT THE HOLY CROSSERS AND BASKETBALL
Uncle Bubba: "Hey. Rebbie Moe. Em Holy Cross gradiates are everywher. Like its one of em commonist conspiratories. Yeah. Like at Clarence Thomas guy, at Bob Casey runnin gainst Santorium. ALL's em Holy Crossers gradiates." Rabbi Moe, "Soundink like-it dem old days in the Poland. [Rabbi Moe thought for a second, then said.] No. My Baba. I changink miene mind-it. I must beink tellink jou, miene mench, the truth. Jou are the upset cause-it The Holy Crossers beatink jour team in the basketballs games-it. Jou must get used to dis. Dis is how the ball beink bouncink. Be forgivink. It tis just a game-it. Besides miene son-e, they got-it the Vord 'HOLY' in their name. Meamink Gott ist on-it their side in the basketballer game-it-s. Sum day jour college will beink beatink them in the basketballers. Have-it sum faith." Uncle Bubba: "As usual yur write Rebbie. Do you jewish guys got like A CONFESSION?" RABBI MOE: "No. I beink sorry. We got dis day of the Atonement, instead." Uncle Bubba: "No. Rebbie. At sounds like it could be hurtin. I'll just be talkin to God, explainin my sins to Him, like normal." RABBI MOE: "OK, Baba. Different folks for the different strokes. Now let's get startink AGAIN the prayink for that poor CAFFERTYNSKY guy." "OK Rebbie."
"Remember, ya ain't gotta spell good ta get into Heaven."
"An ignorant educated man is so dumb he dont know what he dont know anymore. Now thats stupid."
"Conservatives aint stupid."
"If the publicans party demand the Democratic Party call em-selves the Democrat Party, Then the Republican Party should be callin itself The REPUBLIC Party. A democrat would be bein a democrat but a republican would be bein a republic. Like a nation unto themselves, you know? Whats write is write."
"Rabbi Moskovitz and I's worried bout our favorite news guy WOOF Blietzer. We're out there everyday tryin to find some him NEWS. Rabbi M warns, "Dat young-it lady demandin' the news from WOOF is the hard cookie. Vatch it! She be-it huffink, and the puffink and blowink down our WOOF's house.' We're with ya WOOF. There aint no rust on the IRON MAN!"
"Even our Mean Uncle Fester, one of em Right flyin' publicans, say, "War is good, but ther's jus one thing rong, people dies. And those that sends em is responsible."
We can tell when Uncle Bubba had to many 'vhite lightnink' libations, he starts calling columnist Christopher Hitchens - Histopher Critchens, Machu Picchu - Picchu Matchu. Or, starts pinin' about his love Miss Margaret. Then, it is time to secretly find the restraints." The Satirist
"We Red State liberals dont like people makin fun of our acsent. We aint got no acsent. The Red States speak 'Merican. The Blue State liberals speak that fancy schmancy English. (Rabbi M's words). There aint much difference. We understand each utter, dont we?" "Like my Daddy said 'Remember, money is expensive.' Someone should tell em publicans."
"I sawed this 'lection bumper sticker which seemed ta be makin' sense, 'Bush administration Liars make Nixon look honest.' But, I ain't accusin' nobody. Caus', Jesus forgive me, I tell lies."
"Any spoiled brat rich kid can say he's sharin' yar values, but he don't, 'caus he ain't" 8:15 AM 10/26/04
"Ya can always trusts the kid who cames up the hard ways. Like our Billy Clinton. He ain't no liberal, but he ain't gunna lie to ya 'bout the big stuff. Ya can take it ta bank. Fur sure, he ain't gunna bankrupt ya."
"Hi! Neil Gabler." Your Friend Uncle Bubba P.S. "You aint got no ant named Hedda, do ya?"
"Now, here's a thought for the day- Dont Think! It jus makes ya unhappier. Its like thinkin bout my Miss Margaret. That dont mean like Im gunna see her cept on that TV." Our Liberal Uncle Bubba
"Mean Uncle Fester says never do no good cause bad will happen ta ya. Do bad like everyone else in this bad world, and good'll happen ta ya. Also money is more important than people. Ya give a man a choice of money or doin the right thing, he'll choose ..... So. take from others what theyd take from you if they had half a chance. Stealin aint no crime less ya get caught. Publican Servatives gotta a name for it - business. Like give da business ta others before they give the business ta you. Servatives serve mankind by sellin to em. Ats what Jesus meant when He said give that money to Caesar. Nother words, tha rich get richer. Its the laws of God. Like da one sayin the business of Merica is business. Did ya ever hear the one- give em the business?" Liberal Uncle Bubba PS Time for him to meet The Cynic
"Did ya see em panickin in Washinton, when the two kids were learnin how to fly their tiny plane. Youd think there was a chickenhawk Convention in town. What would John Wayne think?" Uncle Bubba
" Only Paul Bagala and Jimmy [as we call em back home] Carville of at the [sorry] Crossfire Show can use our jokin round n joshin n yarnin without none of 'em copywriten problems. Caus they got good senses of the humors. Hey, they better not take em off em air waves. At will make Mama and Gramma mad. And, you dont want to make em mad. Only God can help ya then - maybe?""
Our Liberal Uncle Bubba
"Mama says Pres. Bush got such a good sense of humor, he's gunna have us laughlin all the way to the Poorhouse." Our Liberal Uncle Bubba
"It's like my DADDY used ta say, 'Life's like time, when yur dead ya aint got enough; when yur live it dont matter much.' We burried him with his two favorite things ..."
"Charles Dudley Warner was sayin 'Politics makes strange bedfellows.' But MAMA says 'Hell. Dem publicans are havin origamies.' And, Mama's, like the Pope; never wrong."
"It's like our MAMA always says, 'Some of em liberals are so moderate, they're MEDIAocre. And, I is gettin mad bout thiz markcist stuff. Only marckcists we liberals knowed is Groucho, Harpo, Polo and their brother Shields."
P.S. If yar gunna do sometin gettin Mama mad, for yur own sake, dont do it.
"Its like the guy in at movie, Mama says 'Life is like a box of chokalates, you dont know exactly what yur gunna get, but fur sure yur gonna eat all thebox and get FATTER." Our Liberal Uncle Bubba
0:28 AM 7/9/04 "Gee, thanks for warning me, Ralph. I haven't been flummoxed since, as a kid, I thought Exlax was chocolate candy." "The Satirist"PS Yeah, ya end livin in one room, da outhouse." "Our Liberal Uncle Bubba "Baba"
8:51 AM 6/2/04 "I ain't no Progressive. I'm a Liberal! Damn proud of it! The only progressives I know are slot machines in Lost Vegas. Ya either is what ya is; or, you ain't. Jus ask our Billy Clinton. He don't lie like sum of 'em." "Our Liberal Uncle Bubba" [or as Our Beloved Rabbi Moskovitz calls him "Uncle Baba"] "The Satirist"
"Did ya see em panickin in Washinton, when the two kids were learnin how to fly their tiny plane. Youd think there was a chickenhawk Convention in town. What would John Wayne think?"
Uncle Bubba
"Now, here's a thought for the day- Dont Think! It jus makes ya unhappier. Its like thinkin bout my Miss Margaret. That dont mean like Im gunna see her cept on that TV."
Our Liberal Uncle Bubba
"Mean Uncle Fester says never do no good cause bad will happen ta ya. Do bad like everyone else in this bad world, and good'll happen ta ya. Also money is more important than people. Ya give a man a choice of money or doin the right thing, he'll choose ..... So. take from others what theyd take from you if they had half a chance. Stealin aint no crime less ya get caught. Publican Servatives gotta a name for it - business. Like give da business ta others before they give the business ta you. Servatives serve mankind by sellin to em. Ats what Jesus meant when He said give that money to Caesar. Nother words, tha rich get richer. Its the laws of God. Like da one sayin the business of Merica is business. Did ya ever hear the one- give em the business?"
Liberal Uncle Bubba PS Time for him to meet The Cynic
"Only Paul Bagala and Jimmy [as we call em back home] Carville of at the [sorry] Crossfire Show can use our jokin round n joshin n yarnin without none of 'em copywriten problems. Caus they got good senses of the humors. Hey, they better not take em off em air waves. At will make Mama and Gramma mad. And, you dont want to make em mad. Only God can help ya then - maybe?""
Our Liberal Uncle Bubba
"Mama says Pres. Bush got such a good sense of humor, he's gunna have us laughlin all the way to the Poorhouse."
Our Liberal Uncle Bubba
"It's like my DADDY used ta say, 'Life's like time, when yur dead ya aint got enough; when yur live it dont matter much.' We burried him with his two favorite things ..."
"Charles Dudley Warner was sayin 'Politics makes strange bedfellows.' But MAMA says 'Hell. Dem publicans are havin origamies.' And, Mama's, like the Pope; never wrong."
"It's like our MAMA always says, 'Some of em liberals are so moderate, they're MEDIAocre. And, I is gettin mad bout thiz markcist stuff. Only marckcists we liberals knowed is Groucho, Harpo, Polo and their brother Shields."
P.S. If yar gunna do sometin gettin Mama mad, for yur own sake, dont do it.
Its like the guy in at movie, Mama says 'Life is like a box of chokalates, you dont know exactly what yur gunna get, but fur sure yur gonna eat all thebox and get FATTER."
Our Liberal Uncle Bubba
"Mama says Pres. Bush got such a good sense of humor, he's gunna have us laughlin all the way to the Poorhouse." Our Liberal Uncle Bubba
Our Liberal Uncle Bubba's
DON'T-DO-IT LIST...
[The man who makes Yogi Berra and Sam Goldwyn appear logicians.]{Speaking of Sam,
"If ya dont want them ta do it to you, dont do it."
"If Jacques 'Iraq' Chirac would do it, dont do it."
"If the devil would be doin' it, dont do it."
"If Jesus would'nt be doin it, fur sur, dont do it."
"If Mama says ya better not be doin it, protect yourself, dont do it.
"If ya see the police round. dont do it.
"If its gonna make yar wife or girlfriend mad, dont do it"
"If its gonna make Maureen Doud of that NYT, or my beloved Miss Margaret from the Capital's Gang mad [or hurt their feelin's],I warn ya, dont do it"
"If ya think she may be causin' ya to sin, definitely don't do it."
"If she's been cheatin on her husband, one day she'll be cheatin on you, dont do it."
